Not all new things are good

I use to be so decisive. I use to just trust myself and believe that I can go far. I used to have so much confident that people hate me for that.

But these are all in the past now. For some reasons, I am doubting if I am able to move forward, to try different challenge, and most importantly, is to be damm good at it.

I am in a comfort zone, so comfortable that I do not wanna step out of it.

I need to do something about this, I need to get the old me back. I need that person.

Dreams - not coming true

I believe everyone has a view of their desire future. You know, career, get married, have kids, be happy and yadah yadah yadah.

I have mine as well of course. But I think I have to postpone my plan.

With no expectations come no disappointment

We all know what that means, but how many people can actually act on it? Life without expectations would be such a bla! There are constanly things that we look forward to happened, gifts that we wish someone would miraculously buy for us and yadah yadah yadah. But how many things does all this wishing thinking comes true? Lucky you if yours work, but for me, none of all these are working so far.

I am so disappointed today. I got let down, again! Again and again! I am so disappointed that I am actually out of words. I really do not know what to say from the incident. Yet again, I got let down. It's a mix feeling you know, it's like I am use to it to a certain extend, but I refuse to tell myself that this is the norm. Yes, I am in denial. But so far, it has only led me to believed that this will be the way, and I have to get use to it!

I really do not know what to say and do anymore? Should I just suck it up and pretend that it is all good, and expect that it will not happen the next time? Or should I just explode and expect the worst?