Tuesday, August 18, 2009

There is no way I am going to chicken out

Lately, I am actually quite nervous about my move to Shanghai. You know, it is a totally strange place, with total stranger, no one I know is going to be there with me. Ok, maybe I do have a couple of acquaintances over there, but there are not going to make my life there any easier isn’t it? Ok maybe a little.
But overall, I am just scare la. Having to leave my baby love is one major major factor. L I am pretty upset about it actually, but I just didn’t want to make it seem like such a big deal, because I know it is a big deal for him. But we will survive. I know we will.
But anyway, what I want to say is that I had a good good dream this morning. I dreamt that my baby love went to Shanghai with me, and the whole journey isn’t as scary as I thought it is anymore! My baby has always been my everything, especially when we go travelling. He will read the map, buy the train tickets, ask for directions, and more and more. I never have to do any of these dirty jobs. And the fact that he is there (in my dream only of coz) with me in Shanghai just makes me feel super super secure and safe. Things somehow just fall in place when he is around.
Oh well, it is just a dream. But it somehow made me feel better,even though I know in reality he can’t come with me. So I guess I just need to instil the message that “It is not going to be so scary afterall” in my mind. You have made a decision. Just go with it. And there is no way I will allow myself to chicken out now.

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